Ep 083: Because of You: A History of Kilawin Kolektibo and Filipinx queer activism

Veteran Filipinx-American filmmakers and LGBTQIA+ activists Desireena Almoradie and Barbara Malaran join us to talk about their new film, BECAUSE OF YOU: A HISTORY OF KILAWIN KOLEKTIBO.

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This doc is the first archival look at a previously uncovered era of 90s queer activism amongst a group of Filipinxs activists and artists that started in New York City and rippled across the U.S. and Canada.

In this conversation, we discussed the history of this film's making, memory, forgiveness, finding joy in community, and the complications that live alongside any group fighting for change.

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Music: Deppisch
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ABOUT OUR GUESTS

Barbara Malaran (they/them) DIRECTOR, CAMERA, MUSIC, EDITOR is an inspiring interdisciplinary artist whose creative journey is all about celebrating autobiographical stories of community through captivating video and audio narratives. Barbara adopts an adventurous approach to travel, exploring the connections that shape our understanding of home, identity, and the passage of time, while also navigating the beautiful complexities of memory.

As a key member of Kilawin Kolektibo, a vibrant Pinay lesbian collective, active in the 90s, Barbara spent crucial years in NYC honing their filmmaking skills by capturing the heartbeat of the collective's actions—from marches and protests to joyous celebrations. Their passion led them to co-found and serve as an associate producer for Lesbian Central, the groundbreaking world's first Lesbian TV talk show on Manhattan Neighborhood Network, a Public Access Television project sponsored by GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. This platform focused on empowering queer-identified women artists to tell their own stories and connect with the community. Barbara achieved further successes, which motivated her to pursue a dual degree in Bachelors in Communications and Masters in Media Studies at The New School. She immersed herself in critical theory and audio/video production, benefiting from mentorships with esteemed artists such as Pia Masse, Cecilia Dougherty, and Barbara Hammer.

Today, they are the proud recipients of several esteemed grants, including the NYSCA grant, the Barbara Hammer Experimental Filmmaker Grant, and a Prism Foundation Grant, all of which aim to support their documentary "Because of You: A History of Kilawin Kolektibo," created in collaboration with Desireena Almoradie. Barbara's compelling films have graced numerous festivals and exhibitions, with previous accolades including the Open Initiative Artist Fellowship at The Kitchen in NY, the American Museum of Natural History, the Bronx River Arts Center, Longwood Arts, The Queens Museum, the Leslie-Lohman Gallery, and, more recently, collaborative personal projects endured through the pandemic.

Currently residing on the traditional unceded homelands of the Atfalati-Kalapuya, also known as the Tualatin Band of Kalapuyans, whose ancestors have lived here from time immemorial, preserving the land and waters that we have benefitted from, with most profound respect and gratitude for all indigenous friends and neighbors living today, around Portland, OR, they continue to highlight their dedication to innovative storytelling.

Desireena Almoradie (she/they) PRODUCER, DIRECTOR, CAMERA, EDITOR emigrated from Manila, Philippines at the age of eleven, settling in the borough of Queens, New York with her family. She graduated from NYU with a BFA in Film and a Master's degree at NYU’s Interactive Telecommunications Program (ITP). Her works explore collective history with a focus on queer and/or BIPOC lives. She was nominated for an Emmy and has won a GLAAD Media Award for her work on In the Life, the seminal LGBT news magazine that aired on PBS for two decades. She co-founded the Diverse Filmmakers’ Alliance (DFA), a collective of filmmakers from all backgrounds working to diversify the filmmaking landscape.

Her feature documentary “The Worst Thing”, released in 2019, won the jury award for Best Documentary at the 2020 Snowdance Independent Film Festival in Landsberg, Germany, and was nominated for Best Documentary Feature at the 2020 Queens World Film Festival in Queens, NY.

Desireena was awarded a NYC Women's Fund for Media, Prism Foundation Grant, the Barbara Hammer Experimental Filmmaking Grant, and the New York State Council on the Arts grant for their documentary “Because of You: A History of Kilawin Kolektibo”, a collaboration with Barbara Malaran.

Most recently, she won a 2025 Writers Guild Award for Best Promotional Writing for a series of Get Out the Vote ads for the non-profit organization Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law.

Des lives in Washington Heights, NY, with their partner, Niamh, their child, Cillian, and their dog, Addie.

ABOUT BECAUSE OF YOU: A HISTORY OF KILAWIN KOLEKTIBO

BECAUSE OF YOU: A HISTORY OF KILAWIN KOLEKTIBO traces the history of Kilawin Kolektibo, a pioneering collective of Filipinxs who came together in NYC in the mid-90s. Having experienced marginalization in Filipino culture because of their queerness and in mainstream gay culture because of their race, language, and gender, the members of the group sought political empowerment and increased visibility. But above all, they sought to create a space of friendship and safety for those who found themselves suspended between cultures and identities.

Culling from a treasure trove of over a quarter-century of historical documentation that includes footage, photographs, interviews, and ephemera, the film tells the inspiring and joyous story of members as they found each other, fell in love, and became each other’s lifeblood amid a society that rejected them. From marching, partying, and protesting, to its oftentimes incestuous sexual politics, the film serves as an exhilarating memorial to the rebellion and nostalgia of the nineties.

BECAUSE OF YOU is more important than ever before, as a cultural and historical blueprint for LGBTQ+ activism in today’s current political climate. It highlights how friendship, resilience, and cultural pride not only shape personal narratives but also serve as acts of resistance against societal challenges.

Said filmmakers Almoradie and Malaran, "Documenting our stories is incredibly important, especially when our platforms for expression are vulnerable. By sharing our experiences and identities, we create a vital record of our histories that can withstand erasure. This preservation not only honors our unique narratives but also provides future generations with the understanding and context of their communities' struggles and triumphs.”

DIRECTORS’ STATEMENT

As two of the founding members of Kilawin Kolektibo, directors Barbara Malaran and Desireena Almoradie belong to the community whose stories we are telling, having come of age as artists and filmmakers together while documenting Kilawin’s various actions and events.

Working with precious artifacts and deteriorating video, we manipulate the material to craft a narrative where viewpoints converge, diverge, and later reconnect. We intersperse the raw archival footage with layers of tone poems, musical interludes, and original music evocative of the nineties. This cacophony of sounds evokes a moment in our lives that is sometimes vividly remembered, sometimes vaguely misremembered, but always utterly pivotal.

This film is a love letter from Desireena to Barbara and from Barbara to Desireena, but also from Desireena and Barbara to Kilawin, and from Kilawin (as personified in the film) to today’s QTBIPOC community, with self-reflection and gratitude.

To this day, the core surviving members of Kilawin Kolektibo are connected across continents and time zones. Our archivist and unofficial Kilawin photographer, Panday Banale, has provided complete access to the materials and ephemera the group has created and accumulated over the years. We often appear in the footage as we pass the camera to other members of the group to document our collective history.

We have obtained written permission from all participants who appear in the film and, as a gesture of our gratitude and in the spirit of community, we are providing licensing fees to all the major participants featured in the film.

Just as the formation of this socio-political group addressed the need for intersectional spaces and positive representations of the Filipinx community, the film counters issues of erasure and violence against them that are still present to this day. “Nothing About Us Without Us!” — this slogan is a rallying cry for how we approach the story of Kilawin Kolektibo.

- Co-Directors Desireena Almoradie & Barbara Malaran